An NFL fans take on the FIFA World Cup

I can’t really recall when ‘American Football’ became my favorite sport and ‘Soccer’ was relegated to joint second best (alongside Cricket). I still love the old game and I’ll be watching the World Cup, as always, with the pointless hope that England might win a game or two.

In homage to the World Cup in Russia which starts tomorrow, I thought I’d put together an alternative view of the teams and the likely outcomes of the tournament.

The Likely Contenders

Germany – NFL Comparison: New England Patriots

Germany, like the Patriots, always seem to do well even when they have a team that doesn’t look on par with their opponents. With great coaching, and ruthless efficiency, they march towards the final game often riding their luck but always confident of the outcome. Both teams have bon the big game multiple times in the past and are always there or thereabouts. There is no way that I would think about likening Bill Belichick to Hitler.

Brazil – NFL Comparison: Green Bay Packers

Brazil and Green Bay have both won the big game multiple times and both play in yellowy, green type uniforms but the main reason I see these two teams as similar is that they are both favoured by the neutral. Everyone loves watching these teams play and nobody (except the other teams in South America or the NFC North) would begrudge them a title. Neymar, like Rodgers in Green Bay, pulls the strings on a talented team.

Spain – NFL Comparison: Philadelphia Eagles

Both one-time winners and both with teams that are full of experience and talent. Many have Spain as the favourites for the tournament and who would bet against Philly repeating their Superbowl heroics of 4 months ago come Feb 2019. On both teams, it’s hard to really pick out one star player they both are good because of the sum of their parts. Both teams play with flair and control possession in a way that allows them to dictate the flow of play.

France – NFL Comparison: Los Angeles Rams

Brimming with individual talent both teams seem destined for success. The question is, can the star players join together to create an unstoppable team unit. Both of these teams have one previous title under their belts and will be desperate to add to that success. Purely on talent alone, they should be considered safe bets but the talent needs to be harnessed and both teams do have weaknesses in vital areas.

Belgium – NFL Comparison: Minnesota Vikings

Another pair of talented teams that need to perform now if they are to win the big game. The stars have aligned so that both of these teams top players are peaking at the right time to win the next tournament. It’s now or never for both teams and success will only be reached by lifting a trophy. Both these teams are good offensively and defensively but you feel it is their defensive prowess that could pull them to victory.

Argentina – NFL Comparison: Pittsburgh Steelers

Both of these teams are far more productive offensively than defensively. Both attacking units boast star potential and plenty of goals/points should be scored. The problem with these teams is that they are unlikely to stop their opponents from scoring. Messi = R’berger/Brown/Bell all rolled in to one. Both teams should challenge but the lack of overall talent may be their downfall. Both teams are unpopular and have been known to resort to naughty tactics.

Portugal – NFL Comparison: New York Giants

Portugal have never won the World Cup but they did luckily win the last Euro Championships. The Giants recent Superbowl wins were both relatively lucky. Throw it forward to 2018, both of these teams have one star player i.e. Cristiano Ronaldo & Odell Beckham. Both teams will be hoping that some young players can step up and give them a shot at the Quarter Finals/Playoffs. For both of these teams, 2018 looks unlikely to bring silverware.

England – NFL Comparison: Kansas City Chiefs

Both of these teams were good for a fleeting moment back in the sixties. Since then, they have always been expected to do well but have always been disappointing. These teams, over the years, have been filled with stars but they just weren’t able to perform under the bright lights. Will 2018 be the year for either of these teams? Despite both having some really good players, they both have no chance!!!

Uruguay – NFL Comparison: Dallas Cowboys

Both of these teams used to be good and have titles going back some years. In recent times, both have failed to live up to expectation and success has been hard to come by. Both these teams have one superstar attacking player: Luis Suarez for Uruguay and Ezekiel Elliott for the Cowboys. Both are prone to sulking although one is a little more bitey than the other. If Suarez and Elliott perform then they could go far but we’re probably not looking at the winners here.

Russia – NFL Comparison: Jacksonville Jaguars

Neither team has ever won the big game but, in both cases, they’ll never have a better chance. Russia may be in with a chance simply because the tournament is in their country (and Putin will poison anyone who scores against them) whilst the Jags will have their best chance this year given the talent on their roster. Both the teams will go for a ‘defence first’ policy that may see them win games that they have no right to.

Colombia – NFL Comparison: New Orleans Saints

Both of these teams might fly under the radar but their mighty attacking prowess should make people sit up and take notice once the tournament/season gets started. Defensively there may be some questions but both have shown improvements in this department over the last year. The skill level for these teams is through the roof. Even if they don’t win it, well be royally entertained in watching them try to do so.

Croatia – NFL Comparison: Seattle Seahawks

Both teams have a chance because they are in a weak group/division. If you turn your back for one minute both of these teams are capable of sneaking up on you and pulling wins out of nowhere. Both teams are well-rounded and optimise their talents. They may both be slightly passed their best but I wouldn’t bet against them getting to the Semis/Championship Game. If they can somehow score goals/points then who knows.

The No-Hopers

Panama – NFL Comparison: Cleveland Browns

Apologies to Browns fans but the comparison for Panama has to be the boys from Cleveland. Panama are in their first World Cup and face a mammoth task to even register any points in a tough group much as the Browns will continue to struggle in the tough AFC North. The tournament could be over very quickly for Panama as the season will be over very quickly for the Browns in 2018. Best case scenario: Perform well and build for next time.

Egypt – NFL Comparison: Arizona Cardinals

It’s very hot in Egypt and it’s very hot in Arizona but the best comparison for these two is that they are thoroughly relying on the return of their injured star player. For Egypt, they have zero chance if Mohamed Salah isn’t fit and the same could be said of the Cards and David Johnson. 2018 is not going to be the year for these teams but they could play spoiler to some higher ranked teams and they might pick up a win or two.

Australia – NFL Comparison: Oakland Raiders

Australia is a country made up of criminals’ relatives and the Raiders are just a bunch of criminals (no, I haven’t moved on since the seventies). I freely admit this is my weakest comparison but I did laugh to myself about the previous sentence. Both have very little chance of winning this year and appear to be made up of a disparate band of over-the-hill no hopers trying to have one last fling at success.

Iceland – NFL Comparison: Buffalo Bills

It’s cold in Buffalo in December, it’s always cold in Iceland. Last time out, both these teams over-achieved (Iceland at the Euro Championships and Buffalo, in 2017, by making the playoffs) These teams are made up of harmless competitors whom we may occasionally route for just because we like an underdog. Defense is the key for both teams as they are unlikely to score enough goals/points to win many games.

Iran – NFL Comparison: Indianapolis Colts

I haven’t heard of any of the Iran Football Team and I barely know any of the Colts players. When you look down the squad lists they are both bereft of talent and ability. Both teams are just here to make up the numbers. Iran may need a God to play in nets for them, the Colts definitely need God to return from injury if they are to win any games. It will be fun watching these teams play just to see how many goals/points their opponents can score.